“5 Simple Ways to Invest into Your Marriage for Maximum Returns” eCourse
Part 4 of 5
Welcome to Part 4 of your eCourse.
I hope you are having a wonderful day.
5 Simple Ways to Invest into Your Marriage for Maximum Returns
eCourse
By David Peairs
Author, “7 Keys to Unlocking Success in Your Marriage”
marriagesuccesskeys.marriagevictory.com
Part 4: THE one word to kick out of your vocabulary, thereby leading to a more secure marriage. (Next time in Part 5, you’ll learn how to bring back those lovin’ feelings…even if you thought they were lost forever. Now back to today’s lesson.)
Whoever guards his mouth and tongue
Keeps his soul from troubles.
Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)
Are you completely secure in your marriage relationship?
Do you think there is the slightest possibility that the marriage could end one day, with either one or both of you giving up on it?
Many couples don’t have security that their spouse is in the marriage to stay. The roots of stress, anxiety, worry, and fear are slowly weaving their way through the foundation of the marriage, generating small cracks that gradually get larger, eventually causing the home to crumble.
Also, with many couples, one or both of the spouses have the thought (either conscious or subconscious) that “if things get too rough, or don’t go my way, I can at least get out of it.” They’ve mentally got one foot out the door “just in case.”
There are a number of reasons for an insecure marriage, but today we’ll focus on one.
That brings us to THE one word you need to kick out of your marriage. That word is…
Divorce.
Now think back, does this word come up when you and your spouse have an argument, disagreement, or fight?
Is it occasionally said, only during the really bad, knock-down drag-out fights? Or is it thrown around like beads at a mardi gras parade during every little disagreement?
If it’s coming up at all, it’s planting the seeds of potential marriage failure. It causes one or both of you to have the mindset mentioned above, that there is always a way out. And, it causes the stress, anxiety, worry, and fear that the other person may just pack up and leave.
In the past in our marriage, my wife and I would both bring up divorce. One of the ways we’d use it was by acting like we’d be doing the other person a favor…”Well maybe it would be better for you if we got a divorce. Maybe you’d be happier with someone else.” Oh, we were being so “selfless” and “loving”. (Note – that last sentence was sarcasm:) But that was just a lie of the devil that we were falling for. Thankfully, by the grace of our loving God, we cut the word “divorce” out of our vocabularies and are securely still together.
Imagine a pro football player (sorry for the sports analogy ladies:). He doesn’t go into a big game with the attitude of “Hey, if I get hit too hard, I’ll just quit.” That’s part of the game. He knows it will be work and he’ll get smacked around. But he’s prepared for that and continues to play through it, without the option of quitting in his mind.
And…when that player is around his team and coach, he’s not bringing up the possibility of quitting if things don’t go his way. Otherwise, the teammates and coach would not be too confident that player is going to play his best or even stick around the entire game.
By bringing up divorce, you’re are leaving it on the table as an option. Instead…you must have the mindset that FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
If you want to instill security in your marriage, here’s where to start:
1) If you are the one bringing up divorce, stop it! You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control what you do. And like we learned in the last lesson, when you change, it usually influences others to change.
2) Talk to your spouse about your resolve to bring security to your marriage and kick the word “divorce” out of your relationship. If possible, agree together to never bring that word up again.
3) Replace the “D” word with something else…COMMITMENT. Let your spouse know that you are there to stay. That no matter what happens, you’re going to love them. It can be as simple as saying “Honey, I’m committed to you, to this marriage, and will live up to my vows of ’til death do us part’”. Imagine the sense of relief they may feel!
4) Ask God to reveal any other words you may need to cut out of your vocabulary. Divorce isn’t the only word that could cause marital tensions, so pray about anything else that you may be saying that needs to be left unsaid.
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)
If you do these things, you and your spouse will both feel a sense of relief and renewed hope in your marriage. I know…that was part of what helped turn our marriage around.
Lastly, some food for thought. If you have kids, put yourself in their shoes. What kind of fear, anxiety, stress, and worry could THEY possibly be feeling when they hear their parents bring up divorce? Or even just when they sense (kids are pretty perceptive) the tension between husband and wife?
Well Dave, that’s it for today’s lesson.
After you finish reading this email, pray that God will give you boldness and a good memory to cut the “D” word out of your vocabulary. Never forget, God loves you and your spouse and He wants you to have a GREAT marriage.
REMEMBER…in the next part you’ll learn how to bring back those lovin’ feelings…even if you thought they were lost forever.
Have a great day and see you next time for Part 5.
On to victory!
David Peairs
Founder, MarriageVictory.com
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