“5 Simple Ways to Invest into Your Marriage for Maximum Returns” eCourse
Part 1 of 5
Whether your marriage needs to desperately get back on track, it’s got a bad case of the “blahs”, or you just need to “kick it up a notch”…there is something here for everyone.
Some of these tips may be new to you, but some may not come as a huge revelation. Sometimes though, people need to be reminded of things that they already “know” so that they can put them back into practice.
I’m reminded of an example of that in my own life. For about 10 years, I was in corporate software sales. I did pretty well, but there would be times when my sales would begin to decline.
Thankfully about that time, someone would put on some sort of sales training, which would remind me of some of the basic things that I should be doing, but had slacked off on. As I reintroduced them into my routine, my sales would begin to pick back up.
The same is true in marriage…and every other area of life for that matter.
These tips aren’t a “magic cure” for your marriage, but they will definitely get you started with some actions to begin steering it in the right direction.
Because there is a lot more to attaining success than just actions, it’s best if you use these tips in conjunction with the full “7 Keys to Unlocking Success in Your Marriage“ system.
Otherwise, it would be kind of like saying that you want to make $10,000 from Microsoft stock, but only buying one share and selling it within a month.
You can’t expect a huge return with a small investment. The bigger your investment, the bigger your return.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll go through 5 simple ways to invest into your marriage. You’ll receive an email lesson every 4 days with a new tip, so that you have time to implement that one thing into your marriage before moving on to the next one.
I see that you are ready to make an investment into your marriage, so let’s get rolling.
5 Simple Ways to Invest into Your Marriage for Maximum Returns
eCourse
By David Peairs
Author, “7 Keys to Unlocking Success in Your Marriage”
marriagesuccesskeys.marriagevictory.com
Part 1: Two have become one…so actually spend time together.
(Next time in Part 2, you’ll learn how to build a proper foundation, so your marriage stands strong through the storms. Now back to today’s lesson.)“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.”
Mark 10:6-8 (NIV)I know, this sounds so elementary. But you wouldn’t believe the couples who spend less time with their spouses than they do with other people.And no, you can’t count spending time sleeping in the same bed as spending time together. I’m talking about quality time…when hopefully you are actually enjoying each other’s company.There are many husbands that spend more time than they should at work. Because they come home so late, they miss dinner with their family. Then when the weekend comes, they claim that’s their time. So they golf all day with friends, instead of spending it with their spouse and family.
Now ladies, I can’t let you off the hook. Many wives, when the husbands get home after work, may throw the kids at them and take off to the mall or a movie with friends.
Or maybe there are so many scheduled activities, like multiple sports for each child or church activities, that keep husband and wife so busy running to and from that they don’t have time for each other.
Then there are the couples that are in the same house, but they spend time doing their own thing. The wife is reading while the husband is on the computer. They are living as roommates.
Remember those days of yore, before you got married…when you actually dated?
During that time you got to know each other by spending time with one another and actually having a conversation. If someone had asked, you could have probably recited your loved one’s favorite food, color, TV show, book, or sports team. You may even have known their aspirations for the future and what they really wanted out of life.
Do you still know what those things are?
I know, I know…things change and life gets more complicated. But I think we tend to make it a lot more complicated than it needs to be.
Slow down and take some time to get to know that person you’re married to.
Here are a couple of simple ways to reengage with your spouse…to begin to spend some time together and get to know each other better.
1) Conversation time.
Conversation time? What are you talking about, we talk all the time.
What I’m talking about is a specific time each day to sit down and have a conversation.
After getting home from work each day, sit down on the couch, actually look at each other (don’t glare at each other, but make eye contact) and just talk about “stuff”.
Simply do this for 15 minutes each day.
What in the world do we talk about?
Talk about each of your days, what you did at your job or at home. Talk about what each of you have planned for the next day. Talk about that next vacation you’re planning or what you could do together the next weekend.
If there is a lull, ask questions of your spouse. Pretend you’ve just met your favorite movie star and you want to know all about them.
But please, don’t nag or complain about your spouse. This isn’t the time for that.
Now this is important – listen when your spouse is talking. Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say while they’re talking. Be interested in what they have to say, or at least act like you are.
If one of you spends the whole time talking, that’s okay, just make sure the other person gets the same chance the next day. But don’t continually dominate the conversation.
And don’t do what my sons have to be continually reminded not to do…don’t interrupt.
This time should be private, so send the kids to another room. Make sure they know what you are doing and that unless it’s an emergency, to not interrupt you.
So you can pay attention, turn off the TV. And don’t carry on the conversation standing around in the kitchen while cooking. If it does go past the 15 minutes, you can always continue the conversation while preparing dinner though.
It may be a little awkward at first, but don’t give up. Don’t be insecure about it and don’t worry about what the other person might be thinking.
2) Date night.
That’s right, go on a date with your spouse. Schedule some time, set up a babysitter, and go out with your spouse.
It’s best to schedule this as a weekly event. But if your money or child circumstances don’t warrant that, do it at least once every couple of weeks.
There are many things you can do. One great idea is going to a restaurant. That way you can continue practicing that conversation skill you’ve been learning. You could also go play miniature golf or go bowling.
If you can’t go out at night, a lunch date is just as great. It may even be easier if your kids are in school. That’s what my wife and I do.
Try not to make a habit of going to a movie every time, for that doesn’t lend itself to much conversation.
If finances are an issue, go to Starbuck’s or just to the park.
Act like you’re dating again and actually hold hands. Men, open the door for your wives. Ladies, let him be chivalrous. And remember, you like each other.
Well, there you go {!custom_fix first name}. Now go start your conversation time today, or tomorrow at the latest. If you’re looking for something to start talking about…talk about where you both would like to go for your date night.
Finally, pray that God will bless your efforts and time together with your spouse. God loves you and your spouse. He wants you to have a GREAT marriage.
REMEMBER…in the next part you’ll learn how to build a proper foundation, so your marriage stands strong through the storms.
Have a great day and see you next time for Part 2.
On to victory!
David Peairs
Founder, MarriageVictory.com
P.S. – Don’t forget, order the Marriage Success Keys Action Pack
today! Support our mission to help marriages and improve your own
marriage at the same time. Go to marriagesuccesskeys.marriagevictory.com and be
downloading your ebook package within the next few minutes.
P.P.S. – To get additional tips for success in marriage be sure
to visit our blog at www.marriagevictory.com.
P.P.P.S. – Feel free to pass this email along to a friend. If
you’ve received a forwarded copy, you can get the entire 5 part
eCourse at www.marriagesuccesstips.com.